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Sometimes, it *doesn't* all happen for a reason

10/24/2016

38 Comments

 
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‘It all happens for a reason’:
A string of pretty words popularized by Hallmark cards and Facebook comments, which in most situations proves to be completely and utterly irrelevant. 

“Oh there, there, friend. It all happens for a reason.”
Whether we believe it to be true or not, we’ve all either said it or received it at one point in our lives.

As humans, we are constantly digging for reason. 
After all, It is what we’ve been taught since we were young. 
Identify the answer, and support with fact. 
Isn’t that what our teachers have always said?

Which element of the periodic table contains the most protons? Explain your reasoning. 
Analyze Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird” and identify symbolism. Explain your reasoning.

Explain. your. reasoning.

I hate to break it to you, but--
sometimes you’re just dealt a bad hand in life, and there isn’t a reason for it.
Sometimes, shit. just. happens.

No embellished, prophetic justification involved.

If we convince ourselves that reason is hidden behind every single interworking of our universe, we’ll constantly be waiting for that reason to show itself. The only thing that will arrive, however, is disappointment. 

Stop searching for reason in every misgiving that you experience in life.

Sometimes, you just lose the game.

Sometimes, you just miss the train.

Sometimes, people just leave. 

Just. because.

Life tip:
Instead of dwelling endlessly in the tangled realm of reason,
put a hand to your chest and feel. 

Feel each rhythmic tremor that your heart sends rippling through your chest. 
Feel the swelling of your lungs as breath is taken in and released. 
Feel the warmth of your skin against your fingertips.
Inhale, exhale.

Congratulations, you’re alive. 

Maybe it’s about time that you refuse to be content with simply existing,  
when every fiber of your being is ready to start LIVING.

Move on. Your next chapter awaits.  

Photo by Jimmy Walker via Flikr. 
38 Comments
Isabeau link
10/24/2016 07:46:18 am

Damn, i needed this. Thanks you're a good writer. Have a good day and enjoy life.

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Alexandra
10/24/2016 07:50:42 am

Brilliant ✨ it really fits with my life right now. Thank you and keep writing! ❤️

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Gabriela
10/24/2016 07:56:40 am

Hi, I like your writing and I'm a big fan of your videos but I can't say I agree 100%. Don't you feel that maybe the reason is exactly that, to 'feel'? Sometimes we NEED to feel the pain of failing or feeling someone leave to feel alive. After all, like you said, its part of living...

LOVE and best wishes from Panama

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Bridgett
12/3/2016 03:47:04 pm

I agree

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SofiA
10/24/2016 08:01:03 am

I've always tought about this but I've never been able to put it into words.
Straight forward, I love it.

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Lauren
10/24/2016 08:11:15 am

Oh look...another overly dramatic blog post!!!!

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Hanna
10/24/2016 08:15:46 am

You're an amazing writer! Keep it up!

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Micah
10/24/2016 08:33:56 am

I think its important to realize when we throw around this phrase that things do always happen for a reason but sometimes this reason will never be apparent to us, or to anyone. Life's filled with its up's and down's and its important to have comfort in the random things that happen. It's kind of scary to just leave your life out in the open and not have an explanation for the things that happen.

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yasmin link
10/24/2016 08:41:44 am

So in love with your writing style! Can you please write a book!

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Chloe Gordon link
10/24/2016 09:31:16 am

This is amazing. It's so important to realize that sometimes things just happen with no rhyme or reason behind it, and that's ok. It's all going to be ok.

xox
Chloe

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Tanzima Simran
10/24/2016 09:58:06 am

I have recently gone through a tough break and life, someone just left. And I have thought endlessly...why? but thank you for this post. I wont ask "why" I will accept it and move on. Amazingly written.

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Lexy
10/24/2016 10:54:44 am

I cannot stop reading this. You are unbelievably talented. Reading your words have helped me immensely! Thank you for writing and sharing this, it was much needed! XoXo

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Kat
10/24/2016 11:21:02 am

Thank you Katy, I needed this

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Lil sis
10/24/2016 11:48:54 am

I've been waiting for you to continue posting and am so glad you finally did! You're words speak to me and I couldn't agree more with most of your ideas. Thank you for writing and giving me that beloved and cherished 'big sister advice'. Continue writing and growing. You're an amazing role model and inspiration. I Enjoy emmensly your genuine posts and videos which you make whole heartedly. THANK YOU.

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halee
10/24/2016 12:01:13 pm

I got chills while reading this. The raw and honest truth that I have been needing to hear has finally registered. Thank you for that.

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Renee
10/24/2016 12:30:48 pm

I agree with this so so much! It's always so annoying people say 'everything happens for a reason' because there are people who die even though they wanted to live life, and didn't do anything wrong. People's parents, sisters, friends die and saying 'everything happens for a reason' makes it sound like these people deserved it or something. No, sometimes things JUST HAPPEN. Thanks Katy.

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Melinda F.
10/24/2016 12:56:33 pm

The thoughts that you express here are extremely refreshing in a very cathartic way. You continue to amaze me with simplistic and effective writing that explains all the concepts I would love to explain to my friends and have a lot of people read/realize. Reading your thoughts as someone your same age is tremendously invigorating. Keep it up.

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Jen
10/24/2016 04:03:43 pm

so true

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Haley
10/24/2016 05:30:45 pm

At a time when I needed this most. Thank you. I went through a tough break up in august and he left. Although I'm doing better now. my heart still aches and being the person I am, I search for reasons. Or better reasons than the shit he gave me. Thank you for this tough, but necessary reminder that life isn't all rainbows and sunshine, but sometimes sucks too and theres literally nothing we can do to change the course. Thank you

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Jen
10/24/2016 07:46:27 pm

This could not have been posted at a more perfect time. It is extremely relevant to my life right now. Thank you so much Katy <3

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Elizabeth Dorfman link
10/25/2016 08:14:49 pm

Love the writing. However, I think that this phrase is often misinterpreted. If someone makes a bad choice or "is dealt a bad hand" they'll work harder, they'll be tougher and they'll become a more hardworking person then others. Although, some do have harder lives then others, those people also have the motivation to persevere and push themselves, whereas people with easier lives often do not. Every situation in life has it's benefits and drawbacks, depending on how you look at it. I think instead of searching for a reason, you need to make every circumstance into a learning experience for yourself. That's my two cents, <3 xo love ur content katy

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Michaela Brown link
11/1/2016 12:59:16 am

I love this! I hate the saying "everything happens for a reason". I love your insight and your blog!

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Irina
11/9/2016 04:35:35 pm

I do think that while the ongoing attempt to justify the things that may be happening in someone's life, like you suggested, is a ticket to disappointment and an unnecessary waste of one's time and resources, I may have to disagree with you to some extent. Maybe things do happen for a reason because life itself has purpose. Although none of us can claim any be all end all facts, do you no acknowledge that everything we experience leaves even the slightest imprint on us? Losing a loved one? Maybe it didn't happen for a REASON because that's just how life works, but maybe the reason is that everyone in their life must and will experience this type of loss, shaping everyone in their own way. I cannot think of a single thing that does not make an impact on one's life in some way or another. There is always a cause and effect. Even the smallest trivial aspects of life contribute to our experiences in their own interesting way. Forgetting a fork for lunch makes use go out of your way to find it elsewhere, it forces you to be a little resourceful, take a walk across campus to the dining hall, pass by some trees, notice someone's garbage on the floor, consider how disrespectful it was for someone to leave their litter like that, notice that you should be more mindful about your own wastefulness, see a squirrel, smile because it walks funny, lighten your mood and maybe smile at someone else who's been having a bad day. There you go, the butterfly effect in which every one thing influenced the next and that's your reason. While there may not be some diving miracle with a finite plan for your existence planning the fate of your actions, there is always a reason or at least a purpose for everything you do as it shapes the person you are and influences the people around you. Maybe the reason behind certain events has nothing to do with you, but the way you affected someone else's life and search for a reason.
I think I needed this blog just as much as you to empty all the jumbled thoughts in my head.
Thanks for reading if you got this far.

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Elizabeth
4/19/2017 10:34:33 pm

Brilliantly put!

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Mariya
11/9/2016 09:33:57 pm

You are such a gifted writer! Everytime I read one of your posts or watch your Youtube videos, I feel inspired to write and let my voice be heard. You're pretty fucking awesome. Keep it up!

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Bill
11/10/2016 03:29:58 am

What you said is so true. There is not a reason for all that happens.

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Meg
11/10/2016 06:53:11 am

Thank you for this Katy! :)

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Brittney Rosiles
11/10/2016 08:54:40 am

KATY! write. A. Book. Thank you❤

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Abriana
11/11/2016 05:04:25 pm

much love Katy !

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Andrea
11/12/2016 11:36:17 pm

Hi Katy,
I just wanted to say that you are an amazing person and i have followed you on youtube for a while now. You have helped me so much and have inspired me more than you will ever now. You have taught to me be myself, to not care what others think and most of all to forgive myself. You have also taught me to see the world through my own eyes and to not let others get to you. I just wanted to let you know that you have seriously changed my life and you will continue to push my boundaries and help me be a better person. You create such amazing content that helps so many people. I am only 15 and you have already influenced how i think about the world. I love your writing and how you look at the world in such a unique way. Someday i hope to overcome my fears and express myself as much as you do. I hope you never stop expressing your opinion and that you always stay true to yourself. Much love from Andrea x

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Katarina
11/13/2016 02:47:35 am

Hi Katy, I've been following you for a few years now and I really connect with the way you think and reason around many topics. It really has been even more fun following you now that you are in Europe (i live in Sweden). Anyway, I really want to recommend a talk about love through history. It is so eye-opening and I really think you would love it and find it interesting! Hope you enjoy it! :) /Kat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-iUHlVazKk

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Anna
11/13/2016 04:36:37 pm

Katy, your mind is brilliant! You inspire me in everything you do, from your YouTube videos, sense of fashion, views, and your writing. I look forward to many more blogs!

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Alyssa
11/17/2016 06:17:26 pm

I love Katie but I'm gonna have to disagree with her on this one. I've always interpreted "everything happens for a reason" as there's good and bad to every situation. Searching for answers in everything may lead to disappointment, but I believe that anyone can point to an event that happened in their life and think of a positive impact that it had, however small the impact might've been. It just depends on how you look at. You can choose to take the high road and you decide how you react to things. Even if it didn't impact you, maybe it positively impacted somebody else. I think everything does happen for a reason.

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Rachael
11/20/2016 12:02:11 pm

I needed this so bad

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Ikram
12/12/2016 02:21:36 pm

You are confusing two things here : looking for reasons and understanding them from one side , and on the other side things actually happening for a reason .You are debating the idea of " everything happens for a reason" yet you are presenting arguments regarding looking for and understanding these reasons . Whether these reasons are apparent to you , whether you grasp them or not is irrelevant to their existence. In one of your videos you said you don't believe in regretting past decisions because they brought you where you are now . Well it is quite absurd to believe that and write this blog post . The reason in everything , small may it be , is for you to get as far as you will do , and to feel what you will feel . The trick here is for people to not always be consummed by searching for that reason because it may not be apparent in the present , but later on it will all make sense ; you'll understand why you lost that game , you'll figure out why you missed that train left ,and you'll get why those people left .

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Arabella
4/19/2017 10:37:49 pm

This is exactly what I was thinking. Her thoughts are quite confusing.

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Rochelle link
12/22/2016 03:06:11 pm

This has got to be one of the best things I have read in a while. So transparent and raw

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Please listen
2/9/2018 04:10:42 am

What a sad existence. A life where you believe nothing matters, there is no purpose or reason. We are just a floating rock in space soon to be destroyed and it all meant nothing. No wonder people kill themselves, what a depressing life. You know, deep in you that there is more to life than that. You know that there is a reason, and a purpose and a reason that you look for the purpose behind everything. It wasn't taught to you in a school or a church. It was born in you, you were created to know that you have a purpose. There is a reason why every culture has a religion and believes in a higher power. Every lost tribe we find, may not have invented the wheel yet, but they have come up with a religion because they know there is more to life. Sure it's easier to believe that there is no purpose or reason because then you can just do whatever you want, and you can try to brainwash yourself to believe that there is no reason to feel shame, guilt or regret. The truth is, there is a way to live life and to live a happy life. This whole universe was designed in such a way where if you do something bad you will reap the consequences for it. It's not karma, it's part of the purpose. You were made to be wise, and to grow in that wisdom. You don't have to always learn from the mistakes, you can have a solution without even facing the problem. There is a way to navigate life in such a way that it will naturally make you a happier person and you will reap blessings. It is not too late for you to find that path. No more treading your own path and following your own reasoning and convincing yourself that what you did was right, and that you don't regret your decisions because they lead you to who you are now. Someone that you have to learn to love, because really you hate them for what they were stupid enough to do. What is the answer!? Where is the direction!? What do I need to do to be truly happy!?.... Well... It's in the Bible. Those rules you hate. Has breaking them every truly lead you to a better place? No. God wrote down a way to live so that way you'll be truly happy. He gave you an example of how to live in His Son Jesus. God doesn't hate sex, He doesn't hate parties, He doesn't hate alcohol, He doesn't hate you. He loves all of those things, He created them all for us to enjoy and they are meant to be enjoyed. There are lines though, there are limits. Once those lines are crossed and it's done wrong those things come back and hurt you. He draws the lines because He loves you. Follow Him. It's not too late, He accepts you right where you are. Look around you, open your eyes to the filth you live in, and desire something better and know and trust that it is found in Him. I know it sounds ignorant, I know it sounds crazy, I know your mind is racing to find everything you can think of to discredit what I have told you. You can only follow to masters. You will either praise this message or loath it. If you hate what I have to say, it's a good sign you're tied down to another master. I pray, that there is someone that reads this, that God has already started His work on. That they read this and their eyes are opened. This is just a seed for you. I hope it's the one that grows. For many of you it wont. I write all of this not because I'm crazy but because I care. I want so desperately for you to understand these words and live a life you were made to live. Once you have put your faith in Jesus Christ, living on this earth is like constantly watching people eat tide pods. It's frustrating. It's sad. You know what tide pods are really for, and people are just caught up on a taste that'll destroy them.

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