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I HATE MY THIGHS (and other lies)

5/27/2016

47 Comments

 
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PHOTO COURTESY OF isabella Giancarlo, via www.isabellagiancarlo.com


“Beauty is a form of Genius— it is higher, indeed, than Genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the great facts of the world, like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in dark waters of the silver shell we call the moon. It cannot be questioned.” — Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Grey, 1890. ​

As I read these words, parked in an arm chair at the nail salon— whose $35 service I regret to note has become a bimonthly routine— I stopped dead in my tracks. Oscar Wilde, an egg-shaped man with a drastic middle part who is nothing but bones in the ground, had hit the nail right on the head.

It is unmistakably f*cked up that one could lock themselves in the library, memorize the entire periodic table and dissect the works of Darwin, Plato and Freud alike— and still never measure up to the washboard abs of Zac Efron. You’d think that a theory that was unearthed by Wilde in 1890 would be obsolete by now. Think again.

‘Would you rather be beautiful but dumb, or smart but ugly?’ my grade-school friend Sophie once proposed, haphazardly twirling a pigtail around one finger. A simple question (which would soon be forgotten once the lunch bell rang) nearly a decade later has me stumped.

Why is it, that in a group of ten women, it is statistically proven that nine of them will feel that their bodies don’t measure up to what they’d like them to be? Instead of focusing on their strengths and intelligence, these women will dwell on their too-thick thighs and too-fat arms for the rest of their days. There really is no determining whether that willowy woman or chiseled man in the glossy spreads of Vogue received a 4.0 in high school or attempted the LSAT. 
Really—what is the hype?


Quite frankly, the most courageous and daring thing that a man or women could do these days is stand squarely front the mirror in their birthday suit and tell themselves “I’m completely fine.” Once we accept the fact that we are not perfect and never will be— no matter how many reps of ‘Kayla’ and vile green smoothies we choke down— it’s remarkable how much easier it is to breathe. 

Why is it more common to set goals of ‘drop ten pounds’ or ‘perfecting my contour’ instead of ‘read a book a week’ or ‘keep a journal?’ Why, in the words of Oscar Wilde, has beauty become stone cold ‘fact,’ black and white with no wiggle-room? 

In my humble opinion, Mr. Wilde, beauty indeed can be questioned. I believe that to a certain extent, true beauty is light years away from being debunked. Beauty is a magical institution that has no one definition in Webster, and has a multitude of connotations. 

After trying my hand in a few philosophy classes last semester, I have witnessed beauty in ways that no page of Cosmo or Vogue could ever encompass. The look of sheer determination and passion that filled my classmates’ eyes as they toyed with the words of centuries-gone philosophers was beauty at its finest. Might I add— class after class, most of my classmates donned uniforms of faded sweatpants and gym shorts, without a care in the world.  

I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t take the time to note that I am constantly at war with myself over my appearance at least three times daily— each time I eat a meal. I am just your average millennial with severe discontent over my thighs. However, the times I slap my wrists over my lack of memorized Periodic elements and books are far and few between. 

I have learned from years of practice that one sentiment can truly save us from our horribly misleading minds: Accept the fact that you are not perfect and see how much easier it is to breathe.


47 Comments
Cailyn link
5/27/2016 05:44:04 pm

Great first post :) can't wait for more. Loved your thoughts on beauty in modern society and the fact that perfection isn't achievable.

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ears
5/27/2016 05:44:16 pm

im your biggest fan xo ears

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Gina Fontana
5/27/2016 05:45:19 pm

Katy, this post read to me like a book! It was so amazing! And I think that the words I just read will stick with me. I think I may have had an "aha!" moment. Can't wait to read more of your posts in the future. Love you! ❤️

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Regs link
5/27/2016 05:47:10 pm

I loved this so much. You are so eloquent! Beauty is such a debatable thing. You are completely right in that it is super subjective as it has many different components from person to person. It's not all looks and it's not all what's inside all the time... Beauty goes beyond shallow thought and I think you really captured that in this piece. I'll defiantly be following this blog.

Excited for more to come!

Xo

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Lisa link
5/27/2016 05:50:35 pm

always love your videos that are of similar context to this. i just love when you speak your mind and say all the stuff everyone else is too afraid to say. this blog post was the first of what i'm sure will be many incredible ones. already love this! keep up the awesome work katy, love you tons!

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Michelle
5/27/2016 05:52:29 pm

I love this Katy! This is definitely a topic that more attention needs to be brought to because it is so much bigger than we think it is. I am looking forward to more of your posts!

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Rachel
5/27/2016 05:53:56 pm

Katy I am so happy you've created a blog. Thank you for this post, it was wonderful. Can't wait for more xo

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Emily
5/27/2016 05:56:41 pm

I absolutely loved it Katy!! You're such a talented writer and very wise:D

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Megan
5/27/2016 05:57:14 pm

I loved this so much Katy! Your words are beautiful and I really enjoyed reading your thoughts about the way the world sees beauty in our society. I can't wait for more!

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Carmen link
5/27/2016 06:09:04 pm

Love your writing, Katy. Awesome first post!

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Olivia
5/27/2016 06:18:03 pm

I've been waiting for you to make a blog for SO LONG and now it's finally hear and better then I ever imagined it would be!! You are truly talented and I can't wait to see what else you share with us!!!

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Jillian
5/27/2016 07:04:00 pm

Okay Katy, amazing. I am so excited for you to keep posting to this blog. I think it will be cool to see basically an expansion of an instagram post (btw love your insets). Keep this up I love it and can't wait to see what is to come!

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Kathryn H
5/27/2016 07:04:51 pm

Better yet, the idea of perfection is a social construct. "Perfect" in the sense of the stereotype doesn't exist. The measurement should be how comfortable someone is with oneself. "Am I comfortable with how I look and feel as a whole person, body and soul?" vs "Are my thighs small enough yet?" Who sets that standard? Each individual. Each person must realistically define "perfect" for themselves

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Aleksandra link
5/27/2016 07:09:13 pm

Love this post, Katy! Can't wait to see what else you have in store for the blog. I really like your realistic, college student perspective :)

alextakesblogging.wordpress.com

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Bre
5/27/2016 07:11:34 pm

What are reps of Kayla?

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Danielle
5/27/2016 11:20:29 pm

I think she's referring to Kayla Itsines, the creator of Bikini Body Guides weight loss program

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Mandi link
5/27/2016 07:13:49 pm

I truly loved this post. Coming from someone who aspires to be a writer, I have to admit, I'm a tad envious. You were both clever and witty, but still managed to get your overall point across in a serious matter. That, my friend, is a wonderful gift. I especially liked your metaphor comparing one's intellect of that of Plato and Freud to Zac Efron's "washboard abs." I really hope you continue to run this blog similar to that of your YouTube channel. Keep up the good work Katy.

xoxo,
Gossip Girl

PS: The Gossip Girl joke was to good not to post.

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Emily
5/27/2016 07:16:38 pm

Love your perspective! I really needed to hear this today. I'm excited to read more posts!

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D link
5/27/2016 07:18:11 pm

I feel like this media platform suits you so much! Keep doin what your doin x

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Bailee Abell link
5/27/2016 07:22:52 pm

I really enjoyed reading this piece! I agree with many of your points. I can't wait to read more!

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ellena
5/27/2016 08:02:06 pm

Katy, you're words have been inspiring me since I was 14 and continue to do so at my now 18 year old self! I cant wait to read more from you! you inspire me everyday

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Patricia
5/27/2016 09:14:34 pm

Really amazing post! I completely agree, when we drop the negative mindset, quit comparing and stop regretting that last slice of cake, we begin to realize that all we have is ourselves. No amount of the idealized status of beauty should stop us from being ourselves! Keep it up with your posts, so proud of how far you have come Katy!

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Anneke
5/27/2016 11:05:38 pm

I hope you will continue writing blog posts. This was amazing to read! I'm looking forward to the next post! I'm so thankfull you are on this earth. You helped me so much already!

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Abi
5/27/2016 11:37:04 pm

you honestly have no idea how badly I needed to hear this. Thank you so much xx

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Kamila
5/28/2016 12:14:55 am

Great post, I watch your videos as soon as they came out and everytime after watching I feel, simply just good. You have very clever and original mind, keep writing and saying your thoughts,please. But, I don't completely agree with you. I think perfection exists. For someone, perfect life is to have 2 healthy kids, for someone else it is to make a profit 2MIL $ a year and for someone else it's for example to travel whole world. I don't think,actually I doubt that you can actually set a "table" or "pattern/formula" for what / who is or is not perfect, because it is a thing of opinion. Everyone finds perfect something else and yes, sometimes we loose 20 pounds and we are still not satisfied, but as we grow, as we learn and discover, we change our opinions and values. So, to sum it up,one simply cannot state what or who is or is not perfect or beautiful,because the value of perfection or beauty differs with each human being. Sorry for a long comment but I wanted to share my opinion with you, because yours really inspire me and also sorry for grammar mistakes, I'm still just learning English(those articles, I know) . Thanks for everything Katy, with love your fan #1 or at least #2 from Slovakia,Europe :)

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Jamie
5/28/2016 03:46:00 am

Katy you're amazing! I cant wait for more!!

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Florence
5/28/2016 05:50:52 am

Katy, that was wonderful. Thank you for creating a blog. I love listening (or reading) what inspiring things and advice you give us.

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Mallory
5/28/2016 07:09:11 am

That was an exquisite first post, so many points you made and angles you proposed are so utterly true in so many wrong ways, and honestly I think I'm going to take to heart about accepting that my body will never be perfect, and that a journal will be much more worthwhile in the long run than the perfection of my eyeliner wings; thank you Katy.

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Keifa
5/28/2016 08:01:05 am

I love your blog Katy! Keep it up!!

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anonymous
5/28/2016 08:11:14 am

n

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Marina link
5/28/2016 09:09:10 am

Beautiful first post, Katy! Those words are so important and it's great that you're putting encouragement out there. Can't wait to see what else you come up with!

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Marta
5/29/2016 01:10:58 am

I loved your first blog post. I watch your videos for years now and it's so amazing to see how much you've grown up since the first video I saw of you. I'm a bit older than you (I'm 24) and all I can say is that you seem to be in the same place I was three years ago. You're still looking for some answears, you still try to find out who you are and what you want in life. All I can say is that you'll find those answears faster than you imagine. Maybe not for all of them, but yes, for most of them soon. All you need to do is to listen to your heart, be creative and travel. Traveling is the key. Once I've decided that I want to see the world and I've decided to forget about my own fears I lived for months in a few different countries. It changed me. I hope you'll find the time to travel too. Once you let yourself free and experience new things there will be no way back.

With all the love.
M.

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Kayla
5/29/2016 01:52:16 pm

So happy you've crafted another great online space for all us fans to connect and be inspired by you :) I've watched your channel for years and can happily say you have helped me understand and improve myself as a person. You keep doing you Katy❤️

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Polly link
5/29/2016 08:09:12 pm

I have been dying for you to start a blog! I have loved watching your videos and following you on instagram. This is a great first blog, and it has been able to help inspire me in ways to improve my own blog.

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Izzy link
5/31/2016 09:28:01 am

I have been watching your videos since 2012 and (this is really weird to say) I feel like I know you and that you are my friend. You are a beautiful, intelligent woman whose videos, Instagram and general insights into the world make me happy. I'm so happy that you'be written such a thoughtful, kind blog post. Thank you and bless you for sharing your thoughts with us

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Abby
5/31/2016 11:30:49 am

Hello Katy! Loved this post! It really sums up humans in society now and it is definitely something we need to try and improve, else we will always be trapped in this invisible cage of self doubt and judgement... Lets keep the message going!!

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Merle
6/3/2016 07:27:22 am

Wow, reading this created such a warm ad content feeling inside. Thank you!

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Cassie
6/3/2016 06:30:30 pm

I absolutely love your blog! I'm so happy that I can see your creativity in your YouTube videos and now here! Outstanding job I am ecstatic to read more :) Lots of Love <3

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Rachel
6/4/2016 12:28:44 pm

Your editing - on your blog and your youtube videos- are simply stunning. I NEVER comment on anything but if you can put yourself out there with your creativity, I thought I could submit a small comment to express my respect for you.
You have been one of my favorite Youtubers for the longest time and you made to stress of going to college this fall a little more fun.
Keep inspiring Katy (;

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Stephanie
6/6/2016 06:14:19 am

I adore you this is amazing.

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Bella
6/6/2016 06:11:23 pm

Katy your videos have helped me thought life and make me feel like I am not alone in my issues. Your blog is outstanding and is what young women and teenagers need! You challenge us to strive for bigger and great things to make our lives what we want it to be. You are inspiering and have a beautiful spirit! Keep on doing what you are doing. :)

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Kate Korte
6/8/2016 06:41:56 pm

Katy, I'm so happy with your blog I think you have a really authentic voice in your writing. For more on beauty and dispelling this myth and the pressures around beauty, I strongly recommend reading The Beauty Myth by Virginia Wolf. It will strengthen your argument and change your life, as it has mine.

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Jenn Sadai link
6/14/2016 10:37:37 am

LOVE IT!! We are women on a similar mission! My 3rd book tackles this exact topic and is called "Cottage Cheese Thighs!" I'd love for you to read it.

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Cynthia Elaine
7/2/2016 07:00:43 pm

Hi gal,
What a stunning piece this is. All the way from the rather lovely looking pie image to the remarkable weaving of words you have formed into this cyberspace.
I have been following you for a year now, which totally blows me away, and I always find myself clinging to every word you say in messages like this one. You have a way of putting thought to word that just draws me and my fellow readers in like moths to a light. It is truly astonishing and incredibly admirable.
The points you have made in this blog post really tough my soul, because I believe we, as the imperfect humans we are, need to stop trying to perfect ourselves with layers of make up, high fashion clothes that you just wouldn't wear on a casual day out, and trying to be this ideal person found in a magazine. Beauty is not found just in looks. Sure, when you see the many hues of a sunset the sight itself is alluring, but what about the fact that it is not just a random phenomenon, but something that happens due to the wavelengths being reflected, and all other color is being absorbed. Or how someone becomes so indulged in a piece of literature that they mentally transported to a different world. Aren't mind boggling things like that truly beautiful? So why focus on our body sizes or if our faces are chiseled with contour? Aphrodite, someone considered one of the most beautiful women, a goddess in fact, had rolls on her tummy. It doesn't matter what shape you are, or how your face looks without make up. The way you delve into new worlds or eras through literature, or the way you go crazy baking a masterpiece in the kitchen, or how you run like Pocahontas through a field, that is beautiful even if you are doing all of it in sweats.
I don't know if any of my rambling made sense, but I just really felt like replying to this piece of art. Keep doing what you are doing, Katy, because it is truly wonderful.
Much love,
C.E.

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Chloe
7/8/2016 10:46:18 am

Thank you for this

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Judy link
1/19/2020 06:04:11 pm

I worked in the pharmacy for 27 years. My one customer would always come in dressed to the nines, Her clothes were of quality, However on the clothes she wore were stains of morning coffee, drips of jam, & her lipstick was smeared not only on her full lips,but outside her lips as well, her hair was so dissheveld. She was in her her early 90's . One day she came in yp to the counter with tears streaming down her face. I said,"why Miss Francis what is wrong?" She said," why did you not tell me I looked so old?" Miss Francis had her cataracts taken off. Her face was lined like the dried cracked desert floor. At that age Miss Francis still wanted to look beautiful. she no longer came in with cofee,jam stained clothes. Her lipstick was put on so perfectly, her hair was styled. She lived 6 more years & she lived in style. No matter how old we are as women we always want to look our best . I often think of Miss Francis & when i dress to the nines I think of her, or just putting lipstick on I silently say this is for you Miss Francis.

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Jess
9/28/2020 09:43:10 am

I really needed this, thank you

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