“Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting.”
— Haruki Murakami
Have you ever found yourself in a fraternity house in the ripe early hours of morning? When the sun has just risen behind the tree tops, shedding morning light on the muddy footprints, grimy countertops and drunken decisions; the stale stench of cheap beer permeating. Whether it's with mussed hair and heels dangling from one hand, or purely for the sake of exploration— a frat house in the day time is an enigma of sorts.
If only the peeling, floral wallpaper (that most likely has not been “groovy” since the late seventies) could talk. Chances are, its seen more love, hate and heartbreak than any daytime soap opera.
As I dodged discarded red solo cups like orange cones on a freeway, I instantly flashed back to an early August morning before my freshman year of college. I was pulling out of my suburban driveway, my Mom’s Toyota packed to the brim, as my Dad called out: “Whatever you do, don’t drink the jungle juice.” I smile at the distant memory.
In the moment of it, fraternity parties can be summed up as a blur of neon, sweat and high-heeled boots, caked with mud. But the next morning, as the thrills of the night before evaporate, we’re left only with the bruises and empty Cookout bags to prove it even happened at all.
Personally, I think that the college nightlife culture has been given a bad rap.
Sure, there is a lot of bad that can come from a hundred sweaty college kids packed into bass-radiating houses with names like “Titty City” and “Palace,” but let’s be real here: people who slam partygoers with the same force as convicted murderers need to rethink their argument.
College party-goers from Santa Barbara to Boulder can agree with the notion that aside from providing sheer bliss in the moment, parties truly have the power to fill up a part of our souls that we didn’t even realize was running dry.
Its the random girls sitting on the grungy linoleum floors of the bathroom with you, dabbing your tear-stained eyeliner with the hems of their crop tops, feeling the wind in your hair on those 3 a.m. rides to Cookout in the back of a shiny pick-up, sensing the entire room radiate with passion as you scream the lyrics to a ‘Killers’ track, gripping hands with a perfect stranger.
I’ve experienced more revelations at fraternity parties than my 10:30 a.m. philosophy class could ever evoke. Even artist Andy Warhol, who's works go for the modest price of roughly 100 million a pop, appreciated a good party in order to maintain his sanity. “I have to go out every night,” Warhol once said, presumably between puffs of a cigarette. “If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs.”
Granted, I’m not condoning the act of pursuing the act of going out with the same rigor as a Bachelor’s degree, but in the words of Fergie, “a little party never killed nobody.” There is nothing wrong with wanting to live rather than simply exist. If that, to you, is sticking your nose in a textbook on Friday nights, power to you! But at the same time, there’s nothing wrong with choosing an alternate path.
No matter what you do in this life, I’ve found, someone is going to judge you. At first, I was enraged by this— “they don’t know me! they don’t know my story! I’m not an idiot!” But, don’t you see: that is precisely what they want. ‘They,’ (also known as ‘society’) want for you to react with angst. They want you to play the ‘crazy, horny college student’ card.
The world is going to judge you no matter what, so you might as well live the way that you want to.
After all, nobody looks back on their lives and reflects most fondly on the nights that they got plenty of sleep.
Photo courtesy: http://cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/thumbs/dance-all-night-pillow-case.jpeg
5/30/2016 10:03:12 pm
As I read your blog posts, I picture your facial expressions as if you're speaking directly to me. Your words hold so much purpose and power. You truly are an inspiration. Thank you.
5/30/2016 11:03:56 pm
Please keep blogging Katy
6/5/2016 08:24:24 pm
You should have included you and your sister's website. I would love to check it out.
5/30/2016 10:07:37 pm
Katy, you are an inspiration to all millennials like myself. Your words hold so much power. When I was reading your blog post, I felt like you were talking to just me, and I'm not afraid to admit that these post made me emotional. I almost feel selfish thinking that I spend more time wishing I was beautiful then realizing that I am beautiful and putting all that extra time into something useful, into something life changing or even world changing.
5/30/2016 10:10:17 pm
Katy, me being a girl who just finished up her junior year of high school, I take your advice about school, boys,-- everything very seriously. You were there for me when others weren't. Thank you again for this blog. It is completely wonderful.
5/30/2016 11:02:29 pm
I have to second that. I also just finished my junior year of high school and I take in your advice like I would a friend or sister. You truly inspire me.
6/5/2016 05:38:10 pm
I have to third that (if that's how you say it). I am finishing my junior year in a week and I started watching your videos last year, but ever since it has helped me so much. It's like I could always come to you. You would have the perfect words to help me through the hard times of high school and growing up. Honestly you're the most down to earth and wise teenagers I know. I hope I can meet you one day.
Thank you for providing a fresh breath of honesty and for being a real storyteller. It's so comforting knowing that there are people who can share an unsheltered view on reality. Your words are true, and your impact on younger and older girls alike warms my heart. Thank you Katy.
5/31/2016 02:58:50 am
You really are a gifted writer Katy, keep it up!
5/31/2016 04:12:18 am
Katy, I really enjoyed this post. As someone who is also about to be a junior in college you really hit the nail on the head with this one. Can't wait for the next post.
5/31/2016 09:12:17 am
This is a wonderful piece of writing that provides a true sense of what a frat party is really like. Love it!
5/31/2016 11:53:27 am
I made the decision to go to a community college after high school in order to save some money. I don't regret that decision by any means, but I do wish I had the true college experience. I guess I'll receive what I want when I transfer to my desired University, but shit, I'm impatient. I never understood how anybody could be content with just the books, studying, and essays that college offers. That's just me though. I guess I have a wild soul that's not living in the reality it thrives to be introduced to. Anyways, I really love your posts Katy. They definitely get people thinking. I really hope I can meet you one day and we can share each others thoughts over tea or coffee.
5/31/2016 02:01:58 pm
I can't wait till you go all Carrie Bradshaw & take over the world! 💋
6/2/2016 05:09:07 pm
Katy!!!! Ahh such a good ode to college parties and making me realize, it is not pure evil despite what I've been told. I thoroughly enjoyed this, thank you.
6/2/2016 07:48:56 pm
You are so insperational. Because of you I am following/ living out my dreams.
6/2/2016 10:15:15 pm
Katy, My favorite part of the week is watching your YouTube videos! After reading your blog I found one more thing to love. You are such an amazing writer and an inspiration for ambitious young women, like myself. I'm about to start my junior year of high school and your article about frat parties couldn't have come at a better time. We need to start picking colleges to apply to and I want to get the most out of any school I decide upon. So after a lot of consideration and no matter what others may think of me for doing so. I've decided to Rush a soroity. Thank you for being yourself and nothing less.
6/2/2016 10:58:52 pm
This blog post and "never been kissed video" couldn't have come at a better time for me! I'm an over thinker too, and I always take your advice right to the heart. I've only kissed two boys and hardly party because I've always been known as the good girl and deep down am afraid I will be judged if I act otherwise. I am a good girl, but I'm realizing that I answer to no one but myself and I can still be a good person if I drink a few drinks and kiss a few boys. You helped me see this, so thank you. I always look up to you and aspire to be like you!! I love you Katy!!!!
6/3/2016 10:31:23 am
Katy, I love reading these! You are an amazing writer and are so beautiful❤️
6/3/2016 03:11:03 pm
Seriously thank you for posting videos on high school, college, boys, kissing, etc. I don't have a big sister but you are certainly similar to that as I watch your videos. Life has been a little rough these past few years and as I look towards the future at my senior year of high school (omygod) I don't know what is going to come next. I still can't believe the seniors are graduating in two days. Time flies doesn't it?
6/3/2016 03:16:06 pm
Sorry I forget to ask one thing, if a senior guy you sort of talk to back when he was in school a week a go friends you on facebook and insta (after you followed him first on insta), does that mean something? Also, one of his friends a couple months ago came into our class (it was just him and I) and said to him "is that your special friend" he seemed embarrassed and ran out of the room after his friend. If he likes me I'm surprised because he's one of the "cool" seniors haha. I really miss him for some reason, I got rejected by another guy like a month ago which sucked because I liked him for most of my life. I don't know if I like this other guy or that I just want the attention, I want it to become something but I'm not sure when I'll see him again. Any advice? P.S. sorry for the terrible grammar
6/3/2016 08:45:52 pm
As a fellow member of Greek life I really love your take on party culture. It is interesting to see your outlook and compare it to my own. We are the same age so you are one of the most relatable people that I read and watch your videos! Definitely love all your opinions, lots of respect. You opened my eyes as a fellow Greek member and writer.
6/4/2016 06:51:15 am
Love you so much :)
6/5/2016 05:45:59 pm
I already loved your artistic and beautiful outlook on life, as seen through your YouTube channel, but your blog is truly stunning from the way you use your expressive vocabulary to your over all chilled out vibe. Please continue to bless us with your inspiring blog!
9/24/2019 08:07:21 am
Your words about the college parties made me feel things. I have ALWAYS felt that way, but you managed to articulate it, once again, so beautifully. You should write a book Katy, seriously.
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