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READ THIS WHEN YOU SCREW UP

7/2/2017

24 Comments

 
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The Universe has a funny way of tricking us into thinking that we have our lives under control, and then one day, without any proper warning, pulls the rug out from under us. 

That feeling of “Damn, life is good” contentment that we all spend tireless hours chasing seems to disappear as quickly as it arrived. It only takes one “we need to talk” text or appointment reminder from the Dentist to completely soil our fleeting moment of triumph.  

So you’ve screwed up? Whether it’s for the first time or the eleven-billionth time, the feeling is quite the same. It’s that punch-in-the-gut “FML” sensation of discovering a typo in an important email, sleeping through your alarm or hitting a neighbor’s mailbox with your car. 

Sometimes it only takes a few seconds to royally fuck up a part of your life that you spent days, months or even years cultivating. 

In the sprawling White Mountains of California there is a tree called the “Great Basin bristlecone.” With it’s leafless, weathered and twisted limbs, the Great Basin bristlecone is a contraption straight out of a horror film or the Wicked Witch’s castle in The Wizard of Oz. Despite its looks, the Great Basin bristlecone has been named “the oldest tree in the world” at a mere 5,062 years old. 

“5,000 years ago,” aka roughly 3300 BC, was a time known for Mesopotamian civilizations, “an eye for an eye” and any modern female’s comparison to the last time they shaved their legs. (“I haven’t shaved my legs in like 5,000 years. Holy sh*t.”) 

All the while, the Great Basin bristlecone has been around to watch humankind royally screw things up (ie: two World Wars, the leaning Tower of Pisa, Steve Harvey at Miss Universe circa 2016 and Chipotle charging extra for guacamole…). 

The Great Basin bristlecone has endured 5,062 years of growth, yet could be snubbed in just a few minutes with the right sawing equipment.

Putting it bluntly: It simply doesn’t matter how long a dream/project/relationship of yours has been around, or how many hours you’ve spent watering it. Similarly to the world’s oldest tree, it could potentially be eliminated without a second thought. 
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​The earliest known time that I, myself, screwed up was back in the second grade. 
In Elementary school your level of “coolness” was based on the number of neon pens in your pencil case or your position in the school lunch line. 

One day, in my haste to ensure that I was the first in line, I’d chosen to ignore my screaming bladder. Within minutes, my body publicly betrayed me and my favorite pair of flare jeans with butterfly iron-on patches (my first ever D.I.Y. project, I will add) became soaked in the crotch. Embarrassed and convinced that my life was over, I proceeded to hide behind a potted plant until my Mother came to my rescue with a new (not nearly as cute) pair of jeans. 

Although that was the first (and hopefully the last) time that I’ve ever peed myself in public, I experience the same sensation quite frequently. 

Quite frankly, I’ve adopted “screwing up” as a normal part of my weekly routine. With each spilled coffee, parking ticket and overdue library book, the act of screwing up doesn’t really surprise me anymore.

Life could be going exceptionally well and I’ll have my head on a swivel, thinking, “Okay, Satan, when will you appear in my life today?”
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You aren’t alone in thinking that the Universe is out to get you. We’ve all been there. 

A lot of us— myself included— ruin the greatest parts of our lives by worrying about when the next shit storm will roll through. We overanalyze and try to perform damage-control before the damage has even been made. 

This type of behavior, however, is like carrying around an umbrella on an impeccably sunny day— bulky and unnecessary. We can't keep living like this.
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The truth that we've all heard but refuse to believe: screwing up is essential for growth. 

J.K. Rowling’s first Harry Potter novel was rejected by 12 publishers. 

Walt Disney was refused 302 times before he received proper financing to construct Disneyland.

Vincent Van Gogh only sold 1 painting in his lifetime out of the 800 pieces he created. 

A lack of failure in your life is genuinely more concerning than excess of it. If your life lacks “screwing up,” it can be assumed that you don’t take nearly enough risks. You haven't done nearly enough living. After all, we aren’t around forever. You might as well learn to dance in the rain with the time that you’re allotted. Success is not a path for those who are afraid of failure. Beyond popular belief, it isn’t a path paved with gold. 

It’s like rummaging in the bottom of your bag to locate your headphones— 9 times out of 10 they won’t be retrieved tangle-free. 

A massive misconception about recovering from failure is the idea that we aren’t allowed to feel any degree of sadness. There are numerous quotes circulating the Internet that offer post-failure advice along the lines of “don’t cry, put on some lipstick and get over it.” 

I agree that failure shouldn’t be dwelled upon, but I’m also an advocate of not suppressing emotion. Margaret Atwood said, “I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.” I believe in the latter. 

We aren’t robots. We’re wired to feel things— and many of these things we feel quite strongly. 

When failure creeps into our lives, it is natural for us to react. Don’t you dare beat yourself up for feeling something. 

So often we don’t allow ourselves time to cope with the failures in our lives. We sprint recklessly from one pitfall to the next because we haven’t allotted ourself enough time to process things. 

When the Universe sticks its foot out to trip you, lay in the dirt for a moment to take in the view. Take a deep breath. Allow yourself to learn something from the set-back. Then, pick yourself up, shake the dust from your clothes and walk it off like a champ.
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24 Comments
Sophie K
7/2/2017 12:29:21 pm

I needed this. Thank you.

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Zachary
5/21/2019 05:39:33 pm

I accidentally sent my mom a link to herpes

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eden
7/2/2017 12:32:40 pm

thank you so much for this I needed to read this today. best wishes in dealing with whatever hard situation is on your mind right now I know I'm trying too

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Maitri
7/2/2017 12:39:42 pm

This is so helpful. I constantly overthink things and then overthink about overthinking which just makes me more anxious. And even though it's not easy this really just helps me help myself calm down.

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Emily
7/2/2017 12:42:27 pm

I love this. Thanks Katy ❤️

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Sarah Qadree link
7/2/2017 12:45:13 pm

While listening to Dreams by Fleetwood Mac and reading this it seems like life is coming full circle. You were so on point with allowing ourselves to feel the emotions. It can't be ignored, otherwise snowball effect happens and you eventually burst when you hit rock bottom.
Best of luck Katy, I adore you since day one! :)

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Mina M
7/2/2017 12:46:41 pm

I'm so happy I've found you. Your posts cheer me up when I'm down. Each is my favourite before the new one comes up. When people are raw and honest that can be felt. And it makes everything so much more relatable. Keep up the amazing and inspiring work.

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Tina
7/2/2017 12:49:50 pm

As someone who got rejected from their dream school two days ago i really needed this..Thank you so much!

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Edward
7/2/2017 12:51:13 pm

Inspiring

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Kristin
7/2/2017 12:55:23 pm

love this post! you're such a great writer. this is exactly what i needed to hear!

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Alexandra
7/2/2017 01:45:22 pm

Loved this one ! 💖
Keep on the amazing posts 😉

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Aisling
7/2/2017 03:50:38 pm

The timing of this is perfect due to the fact that I drunk texted a boy I reaaaaally should not have last night

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Keifa
7/2/2017 05:46:20 pm

Hey Katy just wanna thank you for this post I rly needed it as I totally fucked up at work so thank you :)

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Bree
7/2/2017 11:01:57 pm

This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thankyou Katy xx

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Claudia
7/3/2017 12:35:26 am

Katy, you are a shining star. Anything and everything that comes out of your mouth has a purpose that works toward making this world a better place. Your blog posts and YouTube videos are blatantly real and help people reflect on their lives (or at least this holds true for me). PLEASE write everything you think down and publish your thoughts into a book because this world could really use a lot more Katy Belotte.... THANK YOU

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Chandler
7/3/2017 02:01:44 pm

Beautifully written. Reading this made me remember that there are brighter days to come. Thank you, Katy!

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Kaeleen link
7/3/2017 03:24:27 pm

girl. you're amazing.

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Anna
7/4/2017 02:48:21 pm

Katy, your words continue to resonate with me and I cannot thank you enough. I love how your posts are heartbreaking and heartwarmingly personal. Never stop writing, you have a voice that needs to be heard.

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Julia
7/4/2017 07:43:56 pm

its amazing how much i relate to you and you post things exactly when i need to read/hear your advice. stay you xoxo

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Rebecca link
8/2/2017 12:44:37 pm

Katy, can I just start by saying that you are a fantastic writer. I love love LOVED your tree analogy, like it's seriously scary knowing that at any moment all of our hard work could go to pieces, but at the same time, it happens and we can still grow from it.

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dul
5/20/2019 01:16:31 pm

*sigh* what about when you try really really hard to make the most informed decision and still royally fuck it up? I missed out on my top choice school because of funding. Spent all summer agonizing over it. Was cleaning out my inbox and found the award letter. Turns out the $30k in debt I thought I saved myself from is not true. It was $7k. I turned down my dream school because of $7k which I could have paid off 4 times over already.
What really hurts is that I took the time to deliberate, if it was a simple slip up I could cope. But I can't get over the fact I spent about 90 sleepless nights and in that time did not realize how minuscule the difference between one financial aid package and the other was.

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Aria
6/18/2019 07:28:02 am

I don't know how I stumbled in this page but just at the moment when I really needed this. Thank you so much for this Katy.its really beautifully written..loved it.

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Patricia
12/21/2021 06:26:40 pm

Omg I laughed and I cried and said “dam right” . Thank you for this post.

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Rain
12/28/2023 09:17:01 am

Thank you for writing this! It came up when I googled “what to do when you royally fuck up a project.” (I messed up while making a quilt…. My first ever, to be fair.) I really needed your words, these several years later. Thank you <3

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